Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
