I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
