I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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