there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
