Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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