if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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