how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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