I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
