I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
