But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
