His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
