Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
