yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
