Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
