I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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