you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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