I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
time to smoke my breakfast
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
