She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize