Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize