I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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