You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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