i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
