There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
