you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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