Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
