We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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