Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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