I'm eating all of the evidence.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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