I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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