what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
