ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
