youre lurking in front of me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
