Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize