It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
