I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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