yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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