i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize