We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize