direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
