i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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