I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
