Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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