ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
