I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
