so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
