We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
