you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Why can't burritos get me drunk
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
