it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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