We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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