The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
