Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
