She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
