I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
