I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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