I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
