Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
