Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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