Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
is that a dick in a sweater?
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