shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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