I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
