I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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