"it" just moved
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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