Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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