Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
